August 28, 2022

Belonging vs. Fitting In

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Posted by Sharmarke Hujale

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1 min read

Brené Brown said in her documentary film on Netflix Call to Courage, "Fitting in is assessing and acclimating. 'Here's what I should say. Here's what I shouldn't say. Here's what I should avoid talking about. Here's what I should dress like, look like.' Belonging... is belonging to yourself first. Speaking your truth, telling your story, and never betraying yourself for other people. True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are. It requires you to be who you are—and that's vulnerable."

When you belong, it's not something you do—it's who you are. When you try to fit in, you make a choice to blend in with other people, even if those people aren't good for you.

This happens to all of us at various times during our life. When you pressure yourself to fit in, you act in a way that isn't true to yourself or your values.

It didn't strike me until I watched Brené's show, that these two terms are so different. When you belong somewhere, it feels like you are part of a group of people, a community that shares your values and goals. A deep connection is formed.

When you know the difference between trying to fit in and belonging, you are at least aware that by trying to fit in, it's unlikely that everyone will ever truly accept you for who you are.

When you find a place that you want to be, and the people around us also do—you are more likely to have the courage to take more significant risks and try new things out.

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